caffeine fueled brain dump.

Here’s the story.

I went up the coast to see colleges, it was very nice to learn about all the options that I have to choose from. It was pretty awesome, fun, and everything you’d expect a road trip to be. Minus one fact, I suck at going on road trips, some days I eat to much other days not enough my sleep has no pattern except for the pattern of no pattern. Given the title it must seem like I just drank caffeine the entire time, not the case. I got the largest stomach ache right as I got home, considered the pain, considered that caffeine is a laxative and said screw it.

So here I am 10:01 PM approximately 4 minutes ago I pooped out the culprit, only after about 5 hours of trying different tactics to create any bowel movement.

Likely winner: Yoga tummy stretching.

There this playlist that my friend Keaton turned me on to, called “Have a great day on spotify. It has a good mix of classic songs.

This upcoming week’s goals:

Contact all of my contacts to find out there birthday and plot them on a calendar.

Check my pack for France.

Climb up Mount Diablo.

Get last minute things for France.

Refresh my french language.



Love myself!

A short list of songs that make me happy: Sweet Caroline, Lovely Day, You make my dreams, come on elieen , signed sealed delivered, I can’t help myself, ALLSTAR, Jump in the line, alright supergrass.

I also wanted to thank Noel and Isabel Chapman, two people that can make it feel like time is standing still when I am with them, there were the diamond in the coal on this trip, I may be super tired and extenuating my feelings but that is more than fine because these guys are awesome. Tbh, most of my life is influenced by Isabel, I mean she did a blog, so I did a blog, she got off social media, I got off social media, she goes to Seattle pacific university, I would like to go if I can find a way to afford it. I am like a more thick guy version of her, hopefully I’ll be able to lose weight, then die my hair dirty blond and then be a male version of here.

That’s sort of a weird thing I do, I really latch on to people that I like but then find it a lot harder to communicate with others outside of that ring. Take for instance, Noah and Noa when ever I hang out with these guys we think almost the exact same things to do and have a great time, but then we we go to a party or something like that it really just gets awkward because there are just too many people. Or I could just be associating the awkwardness of parties when it is not because of me. Never mind that I need to work on just having semi-engaging small talk with groups of people that I don’t have an in with, hopefully I can improve.

Eat more fiber, become as versatile as a liger.

Hey I like you guys a lot.

Good night.




Laptop FIXED!

My laptop broke a couple weeks ago funniest thing is that it really affected my motivation to blog, there is something that feel weird about writing an entire blog on your phone. It’s really the main reason that I stop putting out blogs, even though my blog output is nothing to boast about.

I’ve been reading the book tribe of mentors by Tim Ferris, It is basically a circle jerk of successful people, but I do like certain things that these guys talk about. Tips about writing, living life, working, and a whole slough of other things.

One of the things that I read roughly said, write tons of Ideas, bad or good, and just get the ideas out because after a while you will fall upon a good idea that you will be able to follow through with.

Lets talk about blank.

Blank is a weird word, its pronunciation and spelling seem just as dull of something as blank it self means. I think something being blank is incredible, let me rephrase this, it is cool to see something that is so simple and empty, obviously receiving a blank paper from the printer sucks but come on.

A desert landscape tracking for for hundreds of miles and of everything there possibly could have been in this space there is nothing. Just sand and the blazing sun, occasionally a hardened creature traverse the empty landscape. How awesome. Especially in a world where everything is an attention grab to take our life away from us. I understand how these monks can give up everything and just see the world pass by.

Swim good.

I need to take a bath, I’m fifthly.


Can’t wait to see you guys more often.


03/01/18 closing

I’ve been closing at work lately. It sucks a lot. I’m hope to not close more often.

I feel like I’m on the cusp of something good. I couldn’t tell you what it is but I think something is really changing.

I don’t have to much to say and it’s late and I still have things I want to do so I’m gonna say goodbye

Love you all.

02/28/18 CrossFit

I’ve started doing CrossFit, I’ve been doing on ramp which is a way to ease beginners into CrossFit. The weird thing is I’m pretty fit right now so it’s just a nice work out to do. I mean there are things I need to learn in terms of Olympic lifting such as cleans, but the other stuff like sit ups is not that challenging. I just can’t wait until I’m done with the on ramp and I’ll be able to crush it. Anywhere Anytime.

Yeah boi.

I went for a 9 mile walk as well

And did a core class

And went for 3 mile run.

Nuff said.

Love you

02/27/18 The Fog

I had some sugar and now my brain is super Fogged I had an idea for a blog but my brain is having a hard time function.

It is frustrating that my mind is blanking I’ll try and finish this up.

I need to work out a bit.

Today right now.

Here is a cheese cake receipt

02/26/18 blog everyday.

You gotta keep going.

Don’t stop you fail when you don’t stop and when you maintain you are just prolonging the inevitable demise.

I’ve kept going and I want to go further. I want to blog more.

I love when I can look back on what I’ve done. If I create now I’ll be able to look back and feel good. Invest in my future.

Today was a fine day at the gym and a fine day at work. If only I could have worked earlier and gone to the gym later. I missed handstand class and handstand class is my life. Luckily I was able to shift my availability so that I won’t be booked late at night on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday. I feel bad asking for those days off but my life become pretty bleak if I don’t go to class.

I don’t really have friend right now so my friends in my classes are really my buds.

I went to youth group last night and it was great.

Montclair youth group is amazing because everyone is so loving, kind, and non-judgment. But really non-judgement, I’m not just using those words to try to make it more appealing as planet fitness does with their gym.

Jeremy one of the advisors was there and even though we had connected that much it felt like seeing and old friend.

Isn’t it weird how much happiness you can get out of human interaction.

Goodnight. love you.

02/23/18 Startingg over

Here I am 190 lbs, maybe stronger than ever but I am feeling shameful. There was a time a recent time, within the last couple months that I was fit, I weight 179. That may just be an 11 pound difference but I know I have 11 pounds to lose. That’s why it’s frustrating. I did it and I need to do it again, how did I do it, well I was vegetarian during that time. I’d say I was running a lot, I was striving I guess, I don’t know. I took a trip down memory lane, looking back at my blog and I had original Ideas I was very inspired and loving and kind and I look at myself now and I don’t see much of that. I just see myself working and going to the rock gym.

I feel like I need to start over, go back, to how I was when I felt good and did good and loved with a full heart. Right now I feel like there is a metal casing developing around my heart not letting any love out. I need to fight back and get back to myself.

I listened to Ted talks for fun, I read the Bible every day. I loved the people around me, I would go for runs and just be so proud of everyone for working hard and I want to get back to that, because now everyone is an enemy and I’m just trying to navigate a battle field. That’s a sucky way to look at life.

I would not go as far as to say ignorance is bliss but some things that I believed and didn’t believe back then were more constructive.

And I know, God do I know.

That just talking about things isn’t going to change anything just complaining, that won’t do jack, sulking about a better life, it’s a complete waste of time.

I can change, I’ve started a running regiment 5 days on, two days off.

I can run but what I consume matters too, the problem right now is that I buy things with my own money because I have money to spend and it is ruining me because I can get whatever food my stomach desires. And my stomach, more like my mind, is so addicted to sugar that I am helping my own demise. Even running and working out, I still need to put in some effort to change.

It is so frustrating to do something then have it all lost.

Today I woke up and felt like complete shit. I know that half of that is because I am not getting Enough sleep but the other half is that working closing shifts has really ruined my Days schedule. Which really has thrown everything off.

This is really bad I’m feeling bad and shitty I don’t want to be. It’s just so hard.

I’ll change, for the love of myself and God, I’m going to change.